This morning on the radio, I was reminded of the old saying: “Refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.”
It’s a powerful metaphor because it highlights a hard truth: resentment doesn’t hurt the offender; it hurts us.
In the world of Lifestyle Medicine, emotional well-being is a foundational pillar. Our bodies are not separate from our minds; research shows that forgiveness is negatively correlated to stress. When we forgive, we actively lower our stress levels. Conversely, holding onto a grudge keeps the body in a subconscious state of “fight or flight,” whether we realize it or not.
By harboring that “poison,” we effectively relinquish our emotional freedom to the person who hurt us. The physical toll is real—chronic stress from long-held grudges is a known contributor to illnesses such as high blood pressure and anxiety.
So the question is: Is what they did worth your health? Do you want your offender to be the reason you develop a chronic illness?
Forgiveness is not always easy, and it certainly doesn’t happen overnight. However, it is a vital part of practicing lifestyle medicine. It is about making a conscious choice—both emotionally and physically—to prioritize your healing over their actions.
It’s time to take your energy, your emotional space, and your health back. It’s time to forgive—not for them, but for you.
Bebe Wilkinson is a Certified Lifestyle Medicine Coach, a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, and a Transformational Retreat Curator dedicated to women 40+. Through her signature coaching programs and her wellness retreats in North Carolina and the Bahamas, she helps clients harness the six pillars of lifestyle medicine to age gracefully and live abundantly.
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